Thank you again everyone. On one hand it doesn't matter what he is taking, just that an addiction is there. On the other hand, I just want to know exactly what he is using besides the cocaine. I highly suspect meth combined with cocaine. From what I'm reading, it's two of the most dangerous and addictive drugs and especially when an addict is using both, a very difficult combo to beat. I don't know why I need to know right now what he's using besides the cocaine. I'm still just trying to sort this all out in my head. Today for some reason I'm struggling a bit more with anxiety and sadness than I did yesterday and the day before. I had a vague dream this about him this morning and actually woke up crying. I don't get why I'm fine one minute and then I just breakdown. I'm not feeling as strong this morning. I'm feeling abandoned.