lizatola

I know that this will pass, it always does. I, for some reason, have this ability to see the light at some point and gain some hope for my future despite how I see things today.

My mom and her husband fly home today after being here for a week and then my AH comes back tomorrow. He's going to want my response to his 'proposal'. I'm not telling him that I'm going to a lawyer yet. He's a volatile person and we still live in the same house with him. Most likely, I will just see the lawyer and decide to file and then have him served.

I have a lot weighing on my mind right now: coming up with a budget, buying a new car to replace my car BEFORE I file, managing the day to day life that we all have to manage, making sure my son stays on track with school work even though I'm distracted, etc. Getting a resume together, finding work in the future, and trying to shove AH's voice out of my head when I hear him say things that are the crazies talking. It's so hard to not buy into all the stuff they throw at you and it's hard to keep a good head on your shoulders when you wonder just how far they will go to follow through on their threats. Just how capable is he of making my life super miserable, instead of just getting this over with when it comes to the divorce?

I future trip about how this divorce is going to go down. The only thing I have that gives me hope that it can end quickly is the fact that AH loves his money and hates spending it so maybe he'll be willing to compromise and concede on certain things just to save himself a few bucks? I have no idea, but I wake up every AM at 5 and I just start thinking about how this is going to go down, LOL!