Thanks for your replies.
DonS - when I married him his behaviour wasn't so extreme, just the odd flare-up. I lived with him for a little over a year before the wedding. It's since we've been married that its intensified - its almost like he feels secure enough to let it all hang out now!
I have been to a counsellor myself and would continue to go if I could afford but I can't - they're very expensive and I'm the main breadwinner and he has a child to support.
He won't hear of going to a counsellor himself - I tried to approach the topic again yesterday saying I was concerned because he seems so unhappy. He said he didn't want pychoanalysing and cut me off and ran off to a meeting.
He did the steps years ago (remember he's in AA that long), fell out with his sponsor and doesnt think he needs one.
I'm stuck between a rock a hard place.
AndyF - thanks for your reply but to be honest I don'r really understand it. I'm just struggling to understand why my husband is as he is when he goes so much to a peogram that's all about serenity, hunility and tolerance.
Thank you all so much - any more insights would really help.