I'm an idiot. I've really been trying to get my stupid brain around the idea that my prescription medications needed for pain management of my condition are not like addict behaviour and I think finally I've got my brain to accept it. This isn't a cheat, I was never addicted to opiates anyway. I'v been beating myself up about this for too long.
I will continue to encourage my doctor to monitor my dose and to look out for addictive behaviour. I have a very supportive doctor for this so I'm in excellent hands. It's time I stop beating myself up, a needed medication is completely different from abusing a substance.
This has been a big day for me realising this and truly accepting it. This to me is a big point in my development both as an addict and a person suffering my condition.
Thanks to all keeping up with me.