Thank you, Ann.
It's been an interesting struggle to go through this and trying my best to step back and look at it at the same time. Like I said, as an alcoholic myself, I absolutely logically understand the need to take time and space to yourself to begin recovery. And I get that it can take awhile. I remember my 11th month of sobriety; finally feeling like I was just beginning to see the world as it really is. It took 11 months of hard work to finally start to notice my perspective change. He deserve that same chance. And I'm so proud of him for standing up to take it.
Yet...
I feel so betrayed. I can't say I'm angry with him; because like I said, I do understand. But the disease; this horrible awful disease; I hate it. I am angry with it. Without meaning to sound like a martyr, there's also a part of me that feels like "I've gone through this struggle alongside him for almost 3 years; I've been his biggest supporter and, next to him, have suffered the most of anyone else in his life (there aren't many people left). And now, after all of this, he leaves me to go finally get better? How is that fair?" And I know the answer, logically. I know how awful that sounds; but it's honest.
I guess part of this struggle for me is that I feel as though I'm playing both sides of the coin: the girlfriend who has been through the ringer and feels betrayed and scared that she's going to lose the man she loves; and the fellow addict - who, inside, couldn't be happier that he's (so far) actually breaking his patterns and doing something so different for his recovery.
As for what you suggested about what I do myself - I came to the same conclusion yestrday. This is going to have to be a chance for me to look at my life and my recovery and make it stronger. I cried in bed for half the day yesterday; and then went out with other sober friends for Halloween. Today; I didn't cry (mostly) and spent the evening with sober friends again. And I laughed; a lot. So I know that however much this hurts in moments; I just have to have faith that it will all be okay and there is a bigger plan.
I don't know much about this site; I've read through it a zillion times in the past looking for people who were going through similar experiences with their active significant others. I think I'm grateful for it, though. I may be rambling but maybe it'll help someone else? - Or someone will be able to relate and share their experience with me.