Hi Tommy...
Your vivid introduction sure makes me think about my own story and marvel at how I allowed myself to ride that terrible wave for so many years.
Welcome to a wonderful source of support and congratulations on opening the door of willingness to build a better life for yourself and those you care about.
If you commit yourself fully to this, you will find your life to be so much deeper, richer and more meaningful.... you will look back in wonder that you ever found yourself in that abyss, and in deep gratitude that you chose to leave it behind.