I too have been mulling over whether I am ACoA. I identify so strongly with what I am reading in the ACoA Red Big Book right now. My dad was a high functioning alcoholic, who was NOT emotionally distant. For the most part, he was enjoyable to be around whether drunk or sober. But there was a huge amount of dysfunction from my Mom - although she was a great Mom and I always had food, clothes, roof over my head, etc. She grew up in a VERY dysfunctional household, and her survival techniques carried forward.
Yes to the outside observer, other ACoAs had it way worse than me. Also to the outside observer, others may have worse drinking problems than me,and others may have partners who are worse alcoholics than my partner. But if I find something that I think will help me in any of these areas, well then I'm gonna dive in and get that help!
Take care,
NCG