Am i an ACOA?
Been on SR for a few days now and just came across this. I never really knew what ACOA was all about. Still don't really. But I just took a questionnaire and got 16 out of 20. I'm just trying to understand why I am the way I am and have the problems with alcohol I do.
It's hard for me to say how much my dad drank when I was a kid because he wasn't around much. He lived in the house and my parents are still together but he was working on the same legal case for over 10 years. From about the time I was 5 to 15.
It wasn't till the last few years that I've noticed his drinking. He drinks most days. He makes it to work and is a very wealthy and respected lawyer. I've seen him get way too drunk on a few occasions, family gatherings and such. The only time we have had conversations that lasted more than a few minutes have been when we're both drunk. I still feel kind of uncomfortable around him. I'm not sure if he has always drank as much as he does now or if I'm just noticing it.
He was never physically abusive or even directly emotionally abusive. It just seemed like he wasn't there even when he was. He's certainly high functioning if he is an alcoholic.
I'm sure most peoples stories are much worse. I'm just trying to figure stuff out now that I've committed to sobriety.
Does anyone else have similar experiences? Trust/intimacy issues and a parent who was physically present but still absent.
What are some of the characteristics of an ACOA?