"Yeah, I get all tangled up over the holidays too. In fact, so many new people show up at meetings over the holidays we call it "recruiting season"
What I did was "toss out" all the traditions I was so slavingly obeying and started _new_ ones. I have a _small_ tree, and the only ornaments are in the shape of butterflies, because they are the Al-Anon symbol of re-birth. No gifts. None. Insted we spend the time exploring where we are going to go on vacation, and _after_ New Years, when the prices come down, our holiday "gift" is a vacation.
I do have a big dinner around turkey-day, but not _on_ turkey day. Invite all the peeps I know from recovery meetings who do _not_ have family in town, or who are going thru hardship. No toxic family. None. Hard boundary.
I love _my_ holidays, so much more than the "commercial", or "family" version."
Awesome, absolutely awesome. Thanks for sharing this. My version of my ideal Holiday might look like "Festivous" from Seinfeld? A silver coat rack for a tree and random gifts for all.....