Originally Posted by Needabreak
Of course the hard thing is when "the family simply confronts the addicted member with a choice between addiction and family membership" and the addict chooses addiction instead of family membership.
well yes, but you see...they are choosing addiction anyway, they are just maintaining it within the comfort of the family home.
Legna, I was the same. In fact, everyone was too scared to say anything to me for fear of what I would do. I would have withheld my children, and cut people out of my life if they had dared force my hand. It wasn't until I was legally baker-acted that the tables turned. The folks in the psych ward gave not a single feck that I don't do ultimatums. I sure tried telling them that. Apparently they were as intimidated by me as my family was.
Originally Posted by Dee74
Follow that through and everyone should work from home, never go to the gym, church, chamber of commerce meetings or the PTA....
I see your line of thinking, although I don't agree. I'm not saying a parent should never be physically separated from their children for periods of time, I'm saying that when one has work, a hobby, an interest, etc
to the exclusion of the family, then it can become a problem. The gym, church, PTO function are all family oriented. In my town, there are family memberships to gyms so that families can work out together if they wish. If a family member goes to a church that the other family members are not allowed to go to because they "wouldn't understand", then I would think it odd. And PTO. Um, it's a school organization.
In some cases, people are asked to put recovery above all else. I was told to put my recovery before my children, but you see, I don't look at it in a linear fashion.
Those things can and should have simultaneous focus. The "hands off my recovery" mentality creates a split in families, whereby the formerly addicted can do and say all kinds of things in the name of "working on their recovery" and if a family member objects they are labeled codependent. I don't see that as helpful in healing a family that has been ravaged by addiction.
So that was my point. Not a pot shot at all, but most people reading with a mature critical eye can see that. If I was going to take a pot shot, I would have done better than that.