I should be happy that he's been exposed. But I am not. I am embarrassed, ashamed, feel guilty, wish I had been less of a codie for so long bc maybe he would have hit bottom a long time ago and gotten help. I covered for him, lied for him, protected him, subjected my kids to domestic violence and still stayed for a long time even then...
Babe, I know that feeling. It's the one I'm working on right now. Forgiving myself.
One thing I found somewhat relieving after I left AXH was the number of people who spoke up and told me they always knew something was wrong. That they had suspected he was an addict. Abusive. Etc. In a way, it gave me verification that I hadn't imagined it. In another way, though, it made me feel STUPID for having stayed so long.
Just remember this: The people who blame YOU for any of what HE did are people you don't need to worry about. And there are many, many women out there for whom this story going public means they'll go "if HIS wife could leave, then so can I."
(((hugs)))