Sorry for this update.
I'm tired guys, sober but tired. I'm not sure of my future, constant pain, extreme exhaustion, swelling caused by the growths I have in my muscles causing disfunction. I'm just wondering why the **** I should bother. Forgive me guys it's jsut hard to think what I can offer this world as I am. Existing provides no benefit to humanity, living does, and it's that second one I'm struggling with.
I wish I could have some positive effect on the world, no matter how small that would make things worthwhile you know? If I could offer just some small benefit to someone then I'd be ok. I would love to do some charity stuff but I don't even have energy for that!
Sorry guys if this seems a bit depressing, just not sure where to fit in at the moment.