So, its that time of year again. I have three family birthdays in the next week. Than a break. Than Thanksgiving, another birthday and than Christmas. This time of year always drives me nuts. I stress out so bad worrying about making sure everything is perfect for everybody I wind up depressed and miserable. I am completely incapable of enjoying the holidays.
You know I also realized recently that one of my problems is my memories of Christmas were wrong. I always thought my mom went out of her way to make Christmas spec i al no matter how rough things were during the year. Now while that is true up to a point I just realized my Christmas was never special. I never got what I wanted. I got what she thought I would want and it never had anything to do with me or my interests at all. My sisters on the other hand always got what they wanted. So, for some reason I can only be happy when people are thrilled with my thoughtful gifts. And no matter how awesome my husband is to me with gifts, even giving me everything I ask for I am always oddly unhappy.
I dont want to feel this way anymore!!!
