Thanks for the article! There are a lot of great visuals which 'stick better'!
Notes I found helpful from the article are below. The "solutions" (not included) to the problems are 'worldly' in that they are designed to go over, under or around the problem - not through, as AA teaches. But other 'visuals' I found 'usable'. (I practice, 'take what I need and leave the rest' liberally.)
"((Self/Ego)) Always on the alert and ready to pull a file, the brain has built-in protection behaviors."
"Our brain will pull every bad file it can find, often far back into our childhood. As long as the depressed brain operates on automatic, it will continue to make us miserable by pulling every file which has guilt, depression, and a bad mood in it. It will play a series of our “worst hits”."
"Rule: You can’t argue with a file."
((Well, I can. Better to recognize that emotion in someone else means I am responding to a file and try not to argue with it - which would be their file pulling a similar one of my own out to play.))
"Rule: Any stimulation can pull a file.
Our body has five senses: vision, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. A file can be pulled by any of those senses. Example: The Vietnam combat veteran who automatically thinks of his combat experience when he hears a medical helicopter."
"You’ll know a file is pulled because the direction of the discussion will not make sense. We know a file is operating when either the content or mood doesn’t make sense to the discussion at hand."
"Again, we always know a file is out because the content or mood doesn’t fit the present situation. We must then remember: you can’t talk to a file. People who argue with the content of a file have as much chance as an individual who argues with the television while a videotape is playing."
"How to Know When A File Is Operating
1. When a file is accidentally pulled, the individual will almost immediately stray off the topic of discussion. As a listener, if you get a feeling of “What’s that got to do with this?” — you’re listening to a file. Remember, you can’t argue with a file."
"3. A file is pulled when the emotional reaction is far above what would be expected from the situation. A husband and wife meet an old boyfriend or girlfriend at the supermarket. Suddenly, all the way home, there’s a gigantic reaction complete with jealousy, suspiciousness, and anger. Somewhere, a file as been pulled."
"4. Many files begin with, “We’ve talked about this before,” “When I was young...,” and so on. References to the past are almost always related to a pulled file."
"5. If the listener has the general idea that the conversation doesn’t make sense, you’re probably listening to a file. Teenagers have difficulty, for example, understanding why a simple request for money leads into a long discussion of dad’s collecting pop bottles for money during his youth. The key is the phrase, “When I was your age...” "
Techniques for File Control
1. Practice paying attention to how your file system works. If you find yourself in a bad mood, or even happy mood, use the approach, “What file is out?” You will then find the file, what feeling is contained in the file, and be able to have some control over the file.
((In AA, for me, it's "identify the emotion, name it, peel (onion) for what's underneath the layers". I just like the "file" concept. A lot. <s>))
"8. In times of social crisis, create and rehearse a special file to cover uncomfortable questions — a “press release”. During a divorce/separation situation, people frequently ask about your situation. Rather than pull up the “divorce” file, pull up a “divorce public relations” file that states “things are pretty disorganized right now with us. I tell you more as things settle down.” Make the public relations file brief, short and sweet."
"If we have bad files on certain people, using our imagination, we “add” new information to the file." ((This one was me...always looking for dirt and rarely letting it wash away once the file was created.))
This is why many friends/relatives often avoid a trauma victim or depressed friend/relative at first — it pulls their files which contain sadness, anger, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness.
((This one also encapsulated why AA was so painful at first - I really didn't want to hear about the problems of other because I had no intention of looking at my own. Buried was good, and if you'd stop making me mad by dragging them out, I'd be just fine. (Except I had no idea why I was so angry in AA at first.) It was also the case when my mother would start to bring up her horrid childhood - I didn't want to hear it. Now I know it was because I couldn't tell her how lousy my own childhood was. She just couldn't see the similarities that bled over; the 'repeats'.))
"As another example, ask someone about the biggest fish they have caught. When the file is pulled you will receive about two minutes of data, the where and when. Once the memory relives the catch, the person’s eyes will widen, their energy level will increase, they may begin arching their back as though illustrating a tough fight, and their entire mood and posture will move as though simulating the reeling-in of a fish."
((Pride evidently carries energy as well - remembering past successes energizes?))
Pamela
dos 8/98