Hi ElleDee ,
i'm sorry life is difficult … In the UK we sometimes say "it never rains it pours" …
Things will change with time , if you stay sober and keep on you give tomorrow the best chance at being as good a day you can .
Drinking can be like shooting ourselves in the foot …
Maybe it's time for some bubble bath or something just to treat yourself in a small way that isn't booze ?
Take care , m