Mavis - I think what you did was a mightier show of strength perhaps than not drinking at all. I would have thought, and my AV would have concurred, "screw it - I'm in this far" etc.
Don't beat yourself up - it could have gone so much worse.
As for the husband, mine is the same way. I've not had any real craziness in recent years due to drinking. I keep all the pain over it inside as well, so I think he just figures if I've made up my mind to drink, he probably isn't going to stop me, and nothing horrible will come of it. But he'll be asleep when I wake up later, heart and mind racing, and hating myself with a passionate vengeance for being so foolish.
Yours may feel he is helping you catch a break from a rough parenting day. You'll have to set him straight, maybe?
Hope your Sunday is more serene.
Earlyriser