Hi All,
Thanks so much for all your replies!
I feel much more "distanced" now, given a week has passed, so I realise that his drinking is his thing, and my not being involved is mine... I always knew this of course, but when confronted with it, it takes some time to overcome that gut reaction of jumping in and saving the day lol
I'm sure we'll have a chat soon, we always tend to check in with each other and ask "how are you really doing?" as a matter of course. I'm not sure if I want to bring up what I know or not... I'll play it by ear... I guess it depends on what I want to get out of telling him I know he was there. Like, if it';s just to hurt him or make him feel bad then why would I do that? I think I what I want is an explanation - like was he drinking? was he just there with mates drinking a coke? Maybe knowing for sure will make it easier, but then what if the answer is not what I want to hear?? It won't make me love him any less, and I know of course that relapse is part of recovery, but I can't deny I'll be a bit disappointed.
The other thing that's on my mind this week is that his flatmate is back in town - he is in town like 3-4 weeks out of the year (the rest of the time in HK) and he also drinks a lot. They met at a pub and i've never seen him sober. Ever. He rubs me up the wrong way, apart from my concerns for his influence on my mate, and both of them know I don't like the guy and we're all cool to just avoid each other and keep things separate. I mean I know that like the sitauation last week, there's nothing i can (or should) do about this, and i'm actually pretty good at not dwelling on it I think ... But it's in the back of my mind, i have to admit.
It's just really frustrating that I have to put this much thought into things, know what I mean?