DD comments tonight
So, tonight was the weekday visit xAH has with the kids. He spends about an hour and a half with them in a public setting, breathalyzer before and after visits etc...
DD9 did not want to go. I told her she had to and said they'd be at a park and pointed out she loves parks usually and tried to make the best of it...
I went to get them not long ago (bc xAH is not allowed to drive them) and DD9 was angry and fussy and fighting with DD6 and rude to me and all the usual stuff that comes at the end of visits with their father.
When I was tucking her into bed just now she told me she doesn't appreciate that I "made" her give up her time with me and asked why she has to go with xAH.
I KNEW this day would come. She has expressed it in her behavior and acting out but has not until now SAID the words she does not want to go see him.
It really just breaks my heart. She is an amazing little girl and loving as anything... But she has had enough of her dad. She has been hurt and let down and disappointed and abused too many times for too long and she is done.
And she is 9.
Of all the things he has lost, this is the most devastating to see happening... His children, or at least the older of his two kids, is pretty well done with him and there is nothing I can do to fix that. And worst of all, I am not really sure that there is anything HE can do to fix it either.
It took years for him to destroy his r/s with DD9 and for her to reach this point and it will take at least as many years for him to repair it IF he were to start tomorrow doing so, which he wont.
He texted me after I picked the kids up telling me what a brat DD9 is and that she needs to lose things for how rude she is to him and that I have done damage to her by turning her into a mini me...
He doesnt see it at all.