Originally Posted by
freshstart57 
Congratulations, 13, you did it! You succeeded in giving that idea to drink a pass. You get a pat on the back for this.
Next time, consider this. Step outside yourself and take a look at what you are experiencing when these urges come along. OK, so here's this 13 person, an (ex) alcoholic, with a sudden urge to drink. Where are the urges coming from? She surely doesn't want to drink, it is her addiction that is jonesing. Who decides if she will stay sober? Will she make it?
If you ponder these questions in this way while you are standing on that edge, I am confident that you will pull back. I know you have it within to do it and to be successful. I believe in you, 13. Always, OK?
As always Fresh you say the right thing at the right time. My urges come from some part of me that's hell bent on ruining me and my friendships and all my close relationships. Actually that's not what it wants to do. It just doesn't care if that happens. Even as I type this and think about the consequences of drinking it ignites a spark in me that pulls me to imagine that warm feeling but it brazenly fails to validate the ensuing negativity that always - always - always - without a doubt follows. I really want to kick it for real this time. I've had my eyes opened to real happiness over the past 6 months - or at least as close to it as I've ever felt ever. Before my latest stint of drinking I was actually comfortable to be a part of this world. I truly saw beauty in living and a real excitement. I need to work on my coping mechanisms - I need to learn to put things down and not get to the point of stress and anxiety where I crave escape. There's tough times ahead. I'm hopefully going to move out from my brothers soon and I've quite a lot of debt but I just need to focus on working and paying it off at a manageable level. Problem is I'm really bad at working out budgets. I should probably get some help with it. I want to take charge of my life. I want to work towards this life that I deserve to give myself. I'm going to keep checking in daily for now because it helps me to get the day in perspective and I know I repeat myself a lot but it's like a positive affirmation to myself
I used your line today in work - I was talking to someone about hitting target and he was saying 'it's been hard today but I'm almost where I've got to be' I answered 'well done' then I smiled and said "onwards" lol I love how simple that word is but it's so meaningful
I've sort of adopted it hahaha