I recommend the serenity prayer. Every hour if you need to. The serenity prayer centers me every time.
Here are my thoughts....
ie sister. I'm very passive so in similar circumstances I have just let my family member talk and talk and I simply do not respond with more than a nod or 'hmmm' but I do not engage because I do not agree with her - and there is for sure no point in trying to express my views - it is an argument or hurt feelings and I don't have a dog in the fight so to speak. She's talking about other people (which I also don't engage in with her - good or bad). If I was more of a stand up person I'd tell her that I'm unwilling to discuss and leave. I'm not there yet
I'm also not willing to sacrifice the relationship with her. She is 71 years old and isn't changing and I'm not leaving her so I practice the hula hoop stuff a lot and do not participate (in thought or deed) with the crazy.
ie - your ex. :sigh: I can see how triggering this is. Serenity Prayer. If you trust his parents and have back up plans for your trip in any case, I'd totally let it go. As long as you are getting your child support and have that trip covered - just step away, for your own sanity. It is his business/obligation to adjust visitation if needed. If he makes no adjustments, so be it. The drama of forcing him to divulge and do the right thing would just not be worth it to me as long as the above was covered. You already suspected he was drinking so getting that validated is not new information right? Just a reminder that you should not relax on the supervision requirement.
If you can't reach him at work, than I guess that is his loss to not know what is going on with his kids. Your kids will probably be visiting their grandparents and not him - but honestly that sounds like that won't be anything new either.
Keep on keeping on. Don't borrow worry and trouble. His crazy life is his. Your centered life is yours.