High Drama, Need Reblanacing
Some things are making me feel sketchy and reactionary this week.
A) Family is triggering me hard. My oldest sister is probably getting a divorce after finding out her husband of 25 years is cheating on her. It's a long, very dramatic story, but the gist is that the rest of my family, mom and other sister in particular, are flipping out and texting and calling me with all the latest gossip about their split. I need to reduce contact with those two while the crisis plays out. I've been in contact with my oldest sister and she seems pretty satisfied with her decision to leave him, and I'm fully supportive of that. Mom and other sister are trying to encourage them to get back together. They are trying to attribute his cheating on a sudden mental breakdown, which, well, regular people cheat and lie about it all the time. It doesn't take certifiable mental illness for cheating and lying to happen. I'm standing back, shaking my head and trying not to get involved. It's hard not to.
B) A friend told me they saw XAH last week.
1) He has a new job, which he hasn't told me about yet. This irritates the crap out of me. I'm legally obligated to know if his employment status changes and what his new hours are so we can iron out visitation and whatnot. I have vacation out of the country planned for later this year, and he agreed to watch DD3 (supervised, per our custody agreement) for that time. He's being shady and it's triggering my codie crazy.
So I emailed him last night asking for the information, he said no, and I emailed back and said, okay, if I don't have it by the end of the week I'll have my lawyer get it. Then I emailed his dad and said, hey, since we all know you're paying for his lawyer, XAH is refusing to communicate his work information, which I'm entitled to by law, I'd like to avoid lawyers, and all this requires is a little communication. I know this was out of bounds to contact his dad, but I would REALLY like to avoid lawyers. I cashed out my 401K so I could pay for the divorce and I have no safety nets left. Another big bill will put me over the edge.
I should not be surprised at all that XAH is lying, hiding information, and being generally shady about his business. It still ticks me off because it affects me and/or could affect me, and I despise getting blindsided by someone else's irresponsibility. I know I can't manipulate outcomes and maintain any semblance of sanity, but I still feel like I need to stick up for myself on this front. I am almost 100% solely responsible for the well-being of DD3 and I really resent being treated like the enemy by her POS father and his enabling family.
2) My friend smelled booze on him. Said it was very, very strong. He's still telling everyone he's sober and AOK. I knew he wasn't, but this was the first validation I've had outside of gut feelings.
Some common reflections or new angles would be helpful. Thanks for reading!