I hear you, wanttobe (and the rest of you). I am right there with you. I am okay, my kids are good, I am busy with work, I am collecting a good number of friends, and I can usually find someone to do things with on the weekends that the children go to their dad's house.
I have some friends who understand what kind of companionship I am looking for and others who encourage me to come hang out at the bar on a Sunday afternoon and go dancing. Which I never can do and I don't think they understand why I can't do that.
Primarily because of Sunday night and Monday morning with 3 kids.
But also because I am looking for deeper connections than I am likely to find in a bar. With people who have no family responsibilities. I don't think I am likely to meet a good partner who can be my emergency contact and soft place to fall in that kind of place.
Am I splitting hairs? I don't know. I do know that I have kids who are crying out for my attention and a household that can't run without me spending my "free" time at the grocery store and getting ready for the week ahead.
I don't want to be nothing more than the lonely, bitter mom, but the reality of solo parenting is that if I don't do it, it doesn't happen, and I don't want to waste my limited hours on hanging out with people with whom I don't really have anything in common.
I'm 44, attractive, smart, and covered up with childrearing obligations. Going out somewhere has to be worth the time.