dj328

Hi Amy - this is a pretty perfect description of what has always happened...

I have set boundaries... And going on experience I'm reasonably sure he won't break them either, until it gets to that end-stage part where he doesn't care any more.

I suppose yesterday I was just very anxious as the memories of all the horrible episodes came flooding back - after a really great 6 months where we could focus on hanging out and playing video games, watching TV, going out (dry), talking about love and life and sex and all the things that mates do, rather than having to deal with booze and poor behaviour. I think perhaps that that's an important thing to tell him...

I'm very very aware that while I rely on him for support in a lot of ways, he can't help me through this aspect of my life (given its related to his recovery, I mean) because I really don't want to make him feel bad for me being anxious about things that I have forgiven him for, but which are painful to think about nonetheless.

With a little more distance today, I feel better able to step back a bit and reflect that I don't have all the facts... So I can't go in and make accusations, but I will try to talk to him about his progress when it comes up naturally. If it was a slip up and he's committed to his sobriety, then awesome! If he's back on then I can't do much about it. When I'm not around, I can't control his behaviour or drinking. And when I am around, I can leave if I am uncomfortable.

It is heartbreaking, though.... Sigh.

Anyway, thank you for your lovely reply :-)