I get it honey, I truly do. Right now when I am around my X (which is pretty much every morning b/c he picks up my DD for school), and we attend the same church, etc., he seems normal. What I have to remember is that he is not normal and while he may seem it for a bit, that's all it is.
Stay strong in your boundaries. You made them to protect yourself and your children. Stop bending on that. He has treated you horribly.
I will also mention that when my X got off probation he immediately hit the bottle, hard. Probation is a babysitter in my opinion.
XXX