My father died of alcoholism when I was 7 years old. I am now 57 and I still mourn his death. If not for yourself, then think about your son and do whatever it takes to get well. I am sure he would rather have a flawed mother than no mother at all!
You are in Canada and I don't know the health system there, but your health care provider would be step#1
You are depressed, as evidenced by 3 hours in the bathroom crying, and addicted. They can help you with this! I am in the same leaky boat. Depression and anxiety are BFFs as my therapist told me. Two sides of the same coin. SSRIs only address depression where SSNRIs address both (like Effexor). One is for serotonin only and the other is for serotonin and norepinephrine