Originally Posted by
happybeingme 
I dont think it is the lack of girliness so much as it is a part of my overall feeling of not being good enough. That in many ways I am still acting and failing miserably and everyone can see it.
happy, I totally get what you're saying. Of course, I have no answers--but that's one of my biggest struggles--being "good enough." Intellectually I know that the things I tell myself in my head and that I (mis)interpret coming from others are not based on rational reality--and I'm not in fact fundamentally deficient--however I still feel it. Even when I'm not necessary thinking it--it's lurking way underneath.
I always imagine myself as being stupid for some reason. Never ever smart enough--always telling myself I "should've known" better. That's my big one I guess.
However, I get a little down on myself physically as well--I've been known to think that I should look just as I did when I was 23. I am, however, *so far* from 23
When I was that age, I felt and dressed glamorous and sexy and I was known to use my sexuality and looks to get validation--in many ways. So now that I'm aging--I feel like I'm competing with that self--which is not even me anymore. Kind of demented, right? lol So while our struggles there are different, I feel like they're kind of similar.
I could go on and on about why I'm not good enough--but I won't--because it's BS. That's my intellectual side talking--hoping the emotional side will listen
More hugs for you, happy!
