That's hard happybeingme. When I first started my journey, I was having relationship problems--which I still have, unfortunately--and I sought help from a therapist. It was truly serendipitous in that she recognized me as having been physically and verbally abused, and within the first 15 minutes of my first session had already identified that I had an alcoholic parent. She suggested some books--and while there were no ACoA meetings locally, I did go to an Al-Anon meeting. I liked it, but it was hard for me to go back. I'm still struggling with that--I know I probably should be going, but I feel so isolated in those settings that it freaks me out to the point where I find a million reasons not to go.
I did a lot of stuff on here of course and learned a lot. I've also done a lot of reading. While I'm no sort of "finished product," and my issues are still quite formidable, I feel like I know where to go for support and how to locate some reading that reminds me of the characteristics that I need to stay aware of.
There was another post today that I just loved--and you probably saw it--about being grateful to be an ACoA--and the things that really struck me were all of the ingenuity we--as children in dysfunctional households had to display to simply survive in those environments. Even when we have the wrong tools for the job at hand--we have a way of adapting them to accomplish what we need to accomplish. It's my hope that even when the "right tools" aren't available or are only available in limited ways--that we'll find a way to make it work. I don't believe that anyone who's lived through what we've lived through is truly doomed. Just my two cents.