Search4Serenity

So here I am--having a hard time at work lately. I honestly don't believe it's anything too catastrophic--as the place where I work *does* fire people and I'm sure that my boss would have something to say in terms of a warning if I was actually in trouble. It just seems like I've made a handful of little mis-steps in the past several weeks, and I'm starting to feel upset about it--and it's bringing out all of my characteristics.

First--Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.
Example: Today I asked a staff member to scan and send something to a student and it was too long--and the circ staff are a little OCD and tend to want to lecture people when they find that you don't know their jobs inside and out. Anyway--my boss ended up asking me to contact the student to make other arrangements--and didn't seem to peeved about it or anything. Yet, I was in my head calling myself a f*** up and a dumb a**. Etc.

Second--Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.
Why is it such a big tragedy that I've made a few mistakes in the past few weeks? Like I said above--my boss is aware of all of them, she's clarified things when it seemed necessary, but nothing has ever come my way at this job that even remotely resembles disciplinary action. What is my problem?

Third--Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.
I'm starting to feel like it's a big deal anytime anyone clarifies anything to me--or explains another way of doing things.

Fourth--Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.
I've been starting to feel like everyone I work with sees me as an a** clown. I'm pretty sure they don't in objective reality--however, every time something happens, I feel like that person is walking around hating me for it after the fact. And when I say "something happens" I'm meaning some little thing that I'm probably thinking about much more and much longer than anyone else is.

These are the times I wish I knew what normal was and because I'd like to be it. It seems like times of high stress--which the last month or so have been off the charts stress-wise, both at home and at work--all my accumulated crap surfaces. Sometimes I feel like I have a handle on myself--and others....well...

lol