Thank you for the responses. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't accept the lifestyle he is choosing, and yet leave the door cracked. I know, both in my heart, and in my head, that things are most likely over. When he calls I do still sometimes pick up, but I don't call him. I don't reach out anymore and it's driving him crazy. (ok, I can't take credit for the crazy part, I think he did that on his own!) (Sorry, I have kind of a warped sense of humor, and sometimes it's laugh or cry.) The ups and downs, the unstable behavior, I don't want to be around it anymore.
I am being careful, and doing all I can to keep everyone safe. Thank you Zoso for your honesty. I imagine it's frustraiting sometimes to hear all of us trying to work our way through this mess, and it usually seems to end in tears, either way. There's no easy way out of addiction, both for the addicts and the people who love them. I was trying, with this email, to let him know my line in the sand. I'm done pretending things are normal, which is what he seems to be trying to do. Yet, I didn't want to be cruel. I hope that's what comes across, not that it matters, really. I don't know what he'll take from it, things I try to tell him don't seem to register half the time. It's like we're speaking different languages.
He doesn't seem to realize that the things he does and says are damaging beyond repair. I think I wrote it more for me, and also, I guess, hoping that maybe if he has something in black and white, he might actually HEAR me. He asked me today if I was seeing someone else. It's like he can't actually believe I could be ready to do this on my own.
I just wanted to see if you guys thought it was fair, and not manipulative? Again, I don't want to be cruel, but I do want him to know that I'm serious. It doesn't matter how much I care about him, I won't be with someone who chooses drinking and drugs over his family.
Thank you Raider and Eauchiche, and thank you Mejo, I can use all the friends I can get right now.
