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Old 09-27-2014, 08:21 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
dandylion
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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TerpGal....You have recieved some SUPERLATIVE feedback, here. I hope you can take it to heart with an open mind.
And, I think SallyTaylor is right that CoDependents Anonymous would probably be a better fit for you than alanon.

You are right...I think...that you certainly need more help; more support; more specific therapy.
Here is the thing...IT IS UP TO YOU TO FIND IT. Nobody is going to drop it off in a basket on your doorstep....that is for sure...LOL!
You are supplying help to your husband---by completely supporting...paying for his rehab...covering his spending. Yet, you shrink from spending for yourself.
By doing this, you are devaluing yourself. It is like saying that he is more important than you are.

There is a saying that applies to everyone (including you..LOL)...."if nothing changes..nothing changes" You must be the agent of your own change. Even one change has a ripple effect. If you throw a small stone into a pond.....there is a ripple effect that goes throughout the WHOLE pond. Try that, sometime, and see what happens.

There is more help available. Your new therapist in monday would be a good starting place. The first thing that they will ask are about your "goals". Welll....how about asking her or him to help you find more support groups. More face-to face help! It is there and she should be able to help you find it. Start turning over rocks........

The minute you take a positive action for yourself....the more you feel in control....it is almost like magic, how that happens!!!!!!

Others h ave mentioned this...and I think it is worth repeating.....meditation can be an enormous help for the symptoms that you are experiencing. I highly suggest that you avail yourself of this...... while you are working on m ore specific support groups, etc....
You can easily find someone who can help teach you, individually.

Also, I would like to point out to you.....look at the wonderful posts that you recieve...these other members have put an enormous amount of time and thought and love into these posts for one main reason....YOU are valuable just because you are you..because you exist. You can't say that no one loves you..that no one cares about you, and only feels sorry for you. You can't deny the love that is being sent your way!
Please try to see that for what is is. You criticize "God'....well I consider the universe and everything in is to be the presence of a HP. The way I look at it....God (Universe) is actually acting for you right this minute through the other posters on this board......

You actually have the power of the universe within you. You can direct it any way you want.....

I hope that these thoughts will resonate within you......I hope that you will consider them carefully......as they, also are sent with love......

dandylion
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