I have not done al-anon at all, I own the codependent books, and the abuse books, and all of that. It is easier for me to read about stuff than to talk about stuff. Plus, I always worry "what if he finds out I am talking about this, what kind of treatment will that earn me"
I don't get what I think half the time, it is like I know why I don't talk to friends and family about it (training, abuse when I do, learned behavior) so I just keep it all inside and I don't say anything to anyone.
And its crazy, I know deep down I wasn't trying to get him in "trouble", but I am starting to think..hmmm, maybe I crossed a line. I was just very concerned for his kids, and like Florence said about not recognizing their safety as a priority..that is something that has been happening for a long time. Just never to his extent. He will allow dangerous things when he has been drinking, he lives on a farm so he will let them shoot guns, bow and arrows, ATV riding, etc. Its just more of a lack of supervision which I know is just as bad, especially with two boys. Plus, the fact that I don't think they should be exposed to that kind of life.
I probably should do al-anon...I am thinking it would help me detach from him and move on.