I ask myself all the time...I keep thinking he will change back to the man I met. Sometimes I still get the occasional glimpse of that guy...he has just changed so much. And maybe its not so much as changed from the man he was, but just hid who he really was from me for so long. I just think he could be a good person, a good man...but I also believe he is borderline personality, so he refuses to admit any weakness, refuses to admit any mistake. Every mistake isn't a mistake...the mistake is how people react to it. I don't know why I stay in it...5 years is a long time, and I have never been good at walking away. He is very abusive as well, more so when drunk/hungover...so for a good 3 years I have been told that I am lucky, no one else would want me, etc..etc. I guess I also worry about not finding someone I connect with like I did with him at the beginning.