Good morning all. I sure have a lot of thread-reading to do so I can get acquainted with everybody here
This is a huge (and rather fabulous) class, I must say. Maybe it's something to do with it being September, that lovely back-to-school month when we often start to take ourselves more seriously. I absolutely love the autumn, everything about it is a motivation to stay sober: curling up in a cosy sweater with an engrossing paperback and a cup of steaming mint tea, seeing the dewy cobwebs in the garden in the morning, going blackberry picking in the woods, choosing the scary films I want to watch this Halloween, swapping summer salads for warming meals with plenty of roasted parsnips... okay, I'm getting carried away here now. Basically I love autumn
Just to quickly introduce myself - I'm a binge drinker. I first joined SR a few months before I got married in 2012 (different username, can't remember what it was), asking if people thought I should quit drinking until my wedding. The fact that I had to ask was an answer in itself, but I kept drinking anyway. Then in March last year I joined again, wanting to get sober for good so we could start trying for a baby. I was sober three months, and it was a lovely time of my life. Then some bad things happened and I backslid. It also became clear that I had fertility problems, and I had to start investigations into what was wrong, which was really stressful and upsetting. I also lost my father just before Christmas in particularly awful circumstances. I wasn't ready to quit with everything that was going on - I just let alcohol do its job of numbing my pain and making me feel like death.
In May this year I came back here but drank on Day 13. All summer I struggled to string sober days together - 3 here, 5 there. The fertility investigations finally culminated in laparoscopic surgery nearly two weeks ago, and I was told I have stage 4 endometriosis and will need IVF
Obviously it's really bad news, but having the diagnosis is actually better than living in fear of it, because at least I have a path now, and I can set goals for myself.
It's also really motivating for sobriety, because it means that I basically CANNOT, MUST NOT, WILL NOT drink, if I want a chance at having a family. I have to follow a strict diet now to try to control my condition, and needless to say, alcohol is not a part of it: it will make my condition worse. I want a family more than I want a drink, and even though there are so many what ifs, and it is hard to stay positive, it is a huge, huge, huge incentive and motivation.
Sorry that was so long
I'm so relieved to be on Day 14 now, and I'm so happy to be here
