Thanks for all the replies. As ever you lot are spot on. Drinking isn't making anything easier - it's just making me wreckless. I'm not drinking today. I got an eye opener yesterday from someone I don't really know. I asked them why they had stepped back from me and his reply was "I don't like you when you drink" now this guy knows nothing of my past or my alcohol problems so he isn't just jumping on the band wagon. I'm really hard work to deal with when I'm drinking. So basically I had a chance for a friendship but I unknowingly messed it up because of my drinking. So yeah - the world can end every night if I choose it but it WILL begin again in the morning regardless. I can fuel the fire or I can extinguish the flame. Choice is mine right...