Originally Posted by
13unluckyforsom 
In my eyes the problem is the one time I don't keep it in check and I go overboard. I mean so far I'm doing okay - my life's changed dramatically and everything's so much more happy and positive. I can be sensible but I do also love getting wrecked to the point I don't know my name
The happiness is a front and false. How can you really be happy when you are imbibing a depressant with such frequency? Slavery to the bottle is not happiness or freedom - it's the exact opposite. Whatever happiness you imagine feeling is in spite of your alcohol consumption and would be far better without it. Waking up so hungover you need a drink to make it to work is not happiness. You don't "love" getting wrecked, you're just addicted to alcohol. Did you "love" getting wrecked the first time you did? I'm guessing you felt sick, threw up, and woke up the next day feeling like absolute hell. Newsflash, the drug is exactly the same as the first time you consumed it, alcohol never ever changes, the only thing that has changed is your tolerance and perception of it because you are addicted to it. It's hard to see the forest through the trees while in the midst of addiction, but there is no advantage to drinking alcohol, and only pain and suffering (in varying degrees depending on your intake).
Why not just make a plan to quit for good? You would be sacrificing nothing, and potentially gaining everything. Look at it that way, you can do this.
And I can say from experience, I fought like hell to keep alcohol in my life for years upon years, even as it destroyed everything in it. I wanted to believe, I insisted on believing, that it was providing me benefits. All of it was untrue. Those thoughts were just part of my addiction. Freed from that, I can see it now, but I couldn't see it then. It is possible to free yourself from this, many of us have.