I had a ton of problems that alcohol was helping me deal with. I couldn't imagine how I could make it without alcohol, and a lot of it, too, if you don't mind.
My life was not going well though, and was definitely getting worse, especially my mental health. I was feeling more hopeless, helpless and anxious every day, it seemed. Finally, I understood that I needed to do it differently, and I committed to facing all of this sober.
The decision in itself gave me hope, no longer helpless or hopeless, just by deciding, simply by making that choice. I took power back by demanding change.
And those problems that alcohol was helping me with? Alcohol was causing them, Emily. It had all been a lie, that I had been drinking to cope. I had only been drinking for the buzz, and the buzz was destroying my life. The buzz was destroying me.
Addictive genes? Maybe you have em, maybe I do too. I don't know. Even if I do, I had to ask myself, how does that change anything? Does that mean that I don't need to find a way forward? I have other genes too - maybe they will make it easier to succeed in this, and maybe they won't. It doesn't really matter. Regardless, I needed to fix this.
You can do all this daily stuff. The job, the bus stop, the frustrations and annoyances will seem trivial challenges, you will take them in stride once you give yourself this gift. Give yourself a chance to succeed, give yourself this chance to be happy. Give yourself your life. Onward!