I can relate to you on this in several ways. I was in a marriage that was wholly one-sided where it came to housework, earning income, childcare, cooking, grocery shopping, EVERYTHING.
I had a full time job, cared for the kids and did all the other stuff of life while my then-wife sat around on the sofa facebooking and skype-ing and complaining and claiming depression.... Yes, she was depressed. But that doesn't change the fact that she did nothing to help and that I was overwhelmed with the burden of all of it, as well as caring for the kids and for her - effectively another kid.
For nearly three years I took it and took it and took it and when I did ask for help I just got anger in return. At first I bore it well... but then my frustrations stacked up and my tenedency as an alcoholic to medicate with booze kicked in when my reserves were all worn and full. The drinking of course didn't help, only added to my stress and exhaustion and gave her further ammunition for anger and depression.
That all led to divorce after she kidnapped the children. In the long run, that was the best thing that could have happened. It allowed me to get the hell away from an unhealthy relationship and focus on being the best me and the best father I could be.
I urge you to do the same; focus on GETTING YOU HEALTHY, whatever that takes. Even if it takes leaving the relationship and being on your own for a while. That can seem scary - but may be just the thing you really need. The core of your problem is alchohol.... but the stressors and burdens of day to day life and this relationship may be so intense that they will make it very difficult to break the cycle.
Get to AA... keep on posting... we're here for you