Originally Posted by
Neverthought 
Welcome AncientMariner.
Let's get that confidence back AM.
Don't look for the mountain's peak just yet, just start at the bottom. We all have to start there. I'm guessing you've done the rebuilding process before, because you seem to know what's ahead of you?
Personally, that is also my biggest struggle....running out of patients because I've already been through this route and I'm not much for repetition, with the exception of drinking everyday. There's a paradox for ya. But eventually that even gets old for me, which is why I'm here!
It's the story of my life. I work on myself a lot, life goes well, I'm on my way to achieving my goals.....and then I self destruct and turn the whole thing upside down by creating a huge, unnecessary problem. I've got used to getting back up. But I really want to overcome this. It's an absolutely rediculous pattern.
I've started reading a book called 'the slight edge', you know it? I think in a way it explains exactly what I'm doing wrong. It says most people do certain things (daily habits) and over the long run all these daily habits accumalate (compound interest) and brings them success or failure. However a lot of people that then obtain 'success' (be it financial, health relationships, sobriety, career), then stop doing their daily habits that got them there in the first place....and suddenly they start to slide down towards failure...
I'm letting my guard down when I get to a certain level of 'success'....I'm accepting that first drink when previously avoiding (and doing other positive things) was what got me back up to a high level in the first place..
I need to take care of my daily habits over the long haul! Especially when things are going well....'mastering the mundane' he calls it. simple habits that are easy to do...but they are also easy not to do.