Wow Lisa, that is some powerful stuff right there.
I dont' know you well enough to make any kind of judgement statements, but something jumped out at me. YOu said that you love your husband and your relationship is great. But then you said that your sex life is not good and that last night you had sex when you didn't want to.
I went through that with my ex-husband (not the father of my children, that is a second relationship), who I now see was emotionally difficult with me.
I remember when I would give in silently to sex. It was the most soul crushing experience of my life. I don't want to get in to too many particulars, but that is saying a lot considering some much more violent episodes I have experienced.
I couldn't understand why he didn't see my lack of desire and why he didn't try to do anything about it.
Again, I don't want to assume anything about your situation. Only you know. Maybe having sex like that is not as upsetting to you. But it is a big, red flag for me.
As for having children, I can assure you there is no "right" time. It is so life-changing no matter how ready you think you are. I think the wisest thing to do right now is have a frank conversation with him regarding your desires and your concerns. It is absolutely appropriate for one or both halves of a couple to have hesitation or want to wait before trying for a baby. It is quite another for one person to hold this possibility as a "reward" at the center of a power struggle. The only way to really get to the bottom of what is going on is open, free and honest conversation with the man you love.
We are here for you, anytime you want to chat feel free to reach out.
A big hug to you.