blah but better
Hi, everyone. Just checking in. Today was really hard. I felt just like NSI this morning: "Day 3 - I woke up this morning with that feeling like I just don't want to face the day. I wasn't tired. I had woken up early because I went to bed early. But all I wanted to do was keep sleeping and not deal with anything." Exactly!! And I'm on Day 3, too, so it really helps to hear that. I dragged myself to work, but it actually went well in spite of my exhaustion. I can already tell that my mind is a bit clearer.
I got a second wind after work, but also that nagging thought that a drink sure would be nice after I put in all that effort! To make it worse, after I got home my husband texted to see if I wanted to come play pool at the bar with our friends. I was angry at him for being able to drink and felt excluded, but I didn't go. After that I was losing my mind for a bit and ate two full dinners, snacks, and a bag of candy. I felt panicky. Hanging by a thread. Then I made some chamomile tea, hoping it would calm me down, and have been on SR since then, reading tons of threads in the Newcomers section. The Gratitude List helped a lot because I'm already grateful for some things in only 3 days and needed reminding. But I also liked reading the stories of where people came from and the people who are struggling. Such great support. It really helped.
So now I don't feel happy or relaxed, and I'm WAY TOO FULL of food and tea, but I am so grateful I didn't drink.
Jazzfest, hang in there! I have felt that way so many times. You're with friends here. Glad you made the decision to change.