Hey, I know that feeling well. I had it on the morning of my 40th birthday, when I had about 60 days clean. I made it through that day, but then relapsed a couple of weeks later.
Ask yourself this- how do you see yourself moving forward? Do you want to carry on with this merry-go-round. What kind of dreams do you have for your life?
I got 4 months clean and then relapsed, and am now back at square one. I so wish I hadn't relapsed.
If you drink tonight, you will awake up in the morning feeling hungover, and full of regret. I know the addict voice in you is telling you that this is something you are prepared to accept if you can get high, just for tonight. Try to distance yourself from that voice, because it doesn't have your best interests at heart.
If you don't stop now, today, when will it happen for you?
Can you go for a walk?