Hello Search4Serenity, and welcome back
I second... er... third what has been said, you are making great progress in healing from the damage of an alcoholic childhood.
I was married to lovely woman for 20 years. I won't go into the whole story. What is relevant is that the marriage ended when she started running around with married guys. I am also the "hero child" and those old reflexes just made everything worse.
What helped me the most was to get involved in _both_ ACoA and Al-Anon. ACoA helped me understand my emotions, Al-Anon helped me decide what actions to take. We have a very good forum "next door"
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I hope we can give you the support you need. I'm sorry you had to seek support in the first place, know that we are here for you.
Mike