alcohol is a depressent and it depresses the hell out me.
The insane thing was I pumped it into my system thinking
it would help feel better or cope with living. The after effect
of being depressed...will, I started doing crystal. That wasn't
a good idea, I became phycotic and depressed.
I suffered from anxieties and depression greatly
Even before I stopped drinking or in between drinking.
I did a lot of reserch or spent a lot of time reading on the subject.
The brain, central nerve system, and effects drugs and alcohol
has on the brain and CNS.
But, i always self medicated myself when an attack hits me.
My depression lifed at first, like always after I stopped drinking.
But an anxiety attack would hit soon after. I knew drinking and using
wasn't the answer and I also tried suiecide.
Life was misariable no matter what I did or didn't do.
What happened or didn't happened.
The sentence in chapter 5 of AA, gave me hope.
Many of us has metal or emotional disoreders.
Some of us suffers from depression, but have the capability
to recover if are honest.
In AA I met people that was going thourgh the same thing as
I was. They knew what I was talking about when I speak of
anxiety and wasn't mistaking it for self pity.
Joe and I help each other , not only with the not drinking part
but by talking about our depression and how it effected us and
how we reacted. I didn't feel alone, with that i was able to walk
through my depression as did he.
I also seek professional help for my metal health and depression.
I was precribed or put on medication.
I was also consern about taking pills again. After all, I knew how
to self medicate and was honest about that to my doctor.
My precribtion was also to attend AA or a 12 step program.
And taking the medication would be forever.
While taking the medication I didn't suffered from depression.
I was sitting on my door step one day babysitting my step
duaghters. I watched the girls laugh, played and enjoyed life.
They told me that they love me...but I didn't feel anything.
I couldn't feel the luaghter and joy the girls were having.
I made a decision not to take the medications anymore, against
doctor's orders. I suffered greatly.
I was put back on medication again via court ordered for 1 more
month.
I also attended AA or shared with Joe a lot about waht I was going
thur and he shared about his experience.
The anxiety attacks got fewer and further apart if we walk thur them.
To today I still have anxeity attacks , maybe once or twice a year.
Sometimes I stay in bed for days still, but I don't think it's crazy anymore
or there's something greatly wrong with me. I just hang on to my ass
and ride the waves , let myself fall, go thur it. My own bed is safe.lol
I don't judge myself or want to be fixed anymore.
Sometimes it's mild....like I just have the blues, now
I don't react to them the same.I know, It'll PASS.
I also worked 12 steps to the best of my abilities.
Each time I take inventory on the many issues of my life.
I feel better inside, each time.
I also recognize my depression has nothing to do with anything,
as also my drinking, I accepted it.
I use to drink if it was a good day or a bad day.
good luck !