Originally Posted by
OGK 
No it's not a suggestion, it's an order isn't it? Yes, I agree, 100%. A simple remedy I still obviously try to spit out. So at this point of your journey, do you find yourself romanticizing still on that fairy tail extended family unit? It must be natural yes? I don't think that part of me can be untaught and not sure I want it too either. Perhaps now that I can identify it, I can start to transfer it into Action to Accept "MY" family as that example and BE that example?Nothing changes if nothing changes.....dam those quotes really mean something.
No I no longer romanticize on the fairy tale extended family...
Seriously... of the 3 living parents, my nippers grandparents; 1 actively drinking (FIL), 1 trying to drink whenever possible (AM), 1 is other dysfunctional. I can't change that, I'm powerless over my alcoholism so I must be doubly powerless of theirs. I can't fix them, I no longer try.
Of my sisters 3- they're all nuts to a larger or lessor extent (mostly larger). Not dangerous, but I'd only trust one of them with my kids for any length of time (24 hours or more). The SiL and BiL... they can't get past 17:00 without a drink.
It would be lovely to have caring capable grandparents and family and in laws that popped over for laughs and conversation, but if they'd been anything like that when my partner and I were young then I wouldn't have had the pleasure of making your acquaintance here (and about), mon ami :-)
Trying to fix my foo issues through my family in the here and now is the insanity. Seriously, I now know that they're not going to change, or at least that I can't change them and I've stopped -a-wishin-an-a-hoping for such magic.
I've surrendered.... that romantic notion anyway :-)