Originally Posted by
Mracoa 
Had me wondering. Was like hearing just one side of a phone call.
This was to yours. Sorry bout that.
MrAoca says......I've found when confronted with irrational anger the best response is not to react. It's the other persons anger. They may want to put it on you, just side step it. As ACOA we are people pleasers and reactors. It's not easy to break that habit.
For example, when she called, you told her they would be back in 2 hours. When she came over anyway all full of rage asking why you are hiding the kids, just respond I'm not. They are playing with friends and will be back at xx o'clock. If you want to wait, come on inside, I'll put on a pot of coffee and make some room in the fridge/freezer for your stuff.
Just offer no resistance and maintain your composure.
No question, great advice and I knew that and had been practicing that but unfortunately in confronting that behavior in real time, f2f, my old self busted out. I knew it in the moment but like I have recently learned, retreating to childhood "protection" bled through. Most if not ALL of my practicing up to that/this point had been done in a relative vacuum as my attention was hugely spent on "MY" FOO, very far away. Ambushed says I, not an excuse but a very good teachable moment for me. This process still reminds me of the stadium lights going out with 3 minutes to go, then they flicker on and then flicker back off with the ball in the air. Accepting that I must accept and also learn, has provided me with the necessary breathing room to continue making adjustments as I venture forward.