Oh DJAyr, what a sorry state your XAW is choosing to live her life.
She is manipulating you to feel guilty for having a life and a relationship. Do not take that kind of hate in. It is wrong. You know the Three C's right? You didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it?? She has the right to drink herself to death. Even though that is a devastating plan of action.
Well you could put up some more boundaries. Are you seeing a counselor or working on codependency issues at all for you?