Just because he is a mess and doesn't know "what the he** he is doing"---that is inside HIS hoola hoop. Just because he can "turn on a dime" doesn't mean that you have to.
You say that the two of you decided to separate......
Well, you can still keep your decision regardless of what he does with his half!!
I remember a year or so ago.....you decided to move out....and went looking at houses. He became very sweet and accomodating, at that point....and, your plans shut down.
the pattern that I see...from the outside....is that when you detach a l ittle from him.....he pulls the rope and you come back into the fold. It is like he is dangling the hope and you are on the end of it. Somehow, whatever he says or does....he is still in control.
This is the way it looks, to me.....
dandylion