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Old 09-04-2014, 08:30 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
fini
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
Allin,

welcome.
i, too, did the secret thing. family would see me have a glass of wine at an event, but not the rest i drank after i got home. and i always was the first to leave so i could get there and do the "real" drinking.
when i quit, i didn't tell them for the longest time, since they didn't know anything about it, really.
after a couple of months, i told my grown up children. had to come out as an alcoholic before i could talk about quitting.
was uncomfortable, but important and positive.
the rest of the family...there was/is always a questioning raised eyebrow or two when i simply say "no thanks" to any offer of alcohol, but that's all. i did, a couple of years into it, tell a couple of my siblings. there hasn't been any "looking down" on me.
if anyone looks down on someone doing the right thing, then...they have an issue

i get that it's scary, Allin, but it's doable, though may not be necessary.
an added positive is the additional barrier it might put on future drinking.

are you distracting yourself from quitting drinking by conjuring up future challenges?
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