I'm probably textbook alcoholic - deep down I know that it's only probably a matter of time until it becomes a problem again. I'm not physically dependent just now I haven't been for months now but sometimes when I know I'm going to be drinking or I'm reaching for my first drink I shake because I can't wait for that release. I'm not unhappy or anything just now I actually love my life my job my people my perspective. I am actually scared of alcohol Tho. There's such a guilty association with it.