Opio, I'm quite worried for you...your thoughts and what you've been writing lately is a major 180. Can I ask why you don't trust your wife (mother of your kids) to care for them while you get help? I think you absolutely need some kind of therapy right now whether it's rehab or out-pt. I've never heard you talk about writing your family a letter and that really worries me...I understand what you mean about finding joy after our DOC, I really do. I'm quickly learning that sober isn't always great, it just isn't..it's up to us to find and do things that do bring happiness to our lives, besides drugs. It takes some time and trial and error but we all have passions and things that make us smile , you know?
You have so much to offer , I hate to see you spiral down this road again.
It's never too late to dig your way back out!
Shoot, I'm in my 30's too and it's not all it's cracked up to be but when you appreciate the little things in life, you learn gratitude and that is a wonderful feeling.
Your children are a gift that others would kill for.
They need a dad..don't allow the cycle to be repeated with them..
I grew up with a crack addicted father and look at me?
Thinking of you....